Returned to owner; class-A amnestic administered; recovery agent reprimanded.
Item Description: An HB pencil which cannot be used to write, and only draws photorealistic images of Jimi Hendrix eating various foods.
Any liquid drunk from glass reported to taste like P████ brand cola.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████ Location of Recovery: Site-19 Current Status: Destroyed after being dropped by canteen worker █████ ███████.
It emits no radiation, sound, or force, and the explosion pattern changes every shake.
Date of Recovery: ██-██-████ Location of Recovery: Sokrovenno, Russia Current Status: In storage.
Date of Recovery: █-██-19██ Location of Recovery: Hackensack, New Jersey Current Status: In storage.
Item Description: A 76-centimeter-tall statue of a clown.
In room where it was placed, a giggling sound would be noted whenever lights were turned off. Item Description: An adult male capybara () several thousand miles away from the natural habitat for its species, with bright blue and green fur.
Date of Recovery: 05-16-200█ Location of Recovery: ██████, Germany Current Status: Shot approximately 15 times with a 9mm sidearm by Agent ██████. Date of Recovery: ██-██-20██ Location of Recovery: ████████, Wisconsin Current Status: Identified as lost exotic pet with ██████████-brand hair dye.